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Joke of the Day

"I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me ""sweetie"" too."

"What do a short-sighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose."

"Oh yeah? Well if I'm so gay like you say, then why do I have to think about my wife when I have sex with dudes, hmmm?"

"Why is Edward still in Russia? He's Snowden."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a trash bin? The trash gets taken out once a week."

"At the restaurant with food still on my plate... Server: ""Do you wanna box for that"" Me: ""No. It's not worth fighting for"""

"the sequel to ""Up"" should be called ""Up 2: No Good"" who do I tell this to"

"Kim Kardashian is a big fan of Einstein After she discovered he invented reality tv"

"My friend and his girlfriend are looking for a girl to have a three-way with... I told him to find someone whose parents are divorced. You want to find a girl who is comfortable ruining relationships."

"What salad dressing does Macaulay Culkin prefer? Neverland Ranch."