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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its on? Because its two tired"

"I once met this guy who was so creepy that his van had a basement."

"""Honey?! What did you feed him? His poop is huge ... and green!"" [the first of many struggles that Bruce Banner's parents faced]"

"Getting older is like being in a prison shower You try to bend over as little as possible."

"The biggest threat to mankind is aliens somehow receiving transmissions of Xbox Live conversations and deciding to just blow up the planet."

"My girlfriend left me for a Hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better they worship cows."

"Ripping a blaring fart every now and then lets your masseuse know who's in charge."

"Everyone criticizes the Salem Witch Trials, but we haven't had a witch attack in over 200 years."

"What is the hungriest mineral that exists? Apatite"

"What do, you call a handicapped person with a, vasectomy? A seedless, vegetable."