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Joke of the Day

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup ! Yes it's the rotting meat that attracts them !"

"If your girlfriend starts smoking... Slow down and try using some lube!"

"[Exchanging gifts at family's house] *family opens up my gifts -uh, a history book? Your Facebook post suggested that you needed it."

"My goal in life is to be as chill as Forrest Whitaker's left eye"

"Your mother reminds me of Eminem... She only worth fiddy cent."

"What do you call a hypochondriac dinosaur? Tri-serepax."

"did you hear about this new website which will have lots of info about penises they are planning to call it dickipedia"

"Joker: You're endangering a minor Batman: He's my partner Joker: Why's he in his underwear? Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me."

"Happiness won't just walk into your life on its own. But neither will unhappiness. So if you don't want trouble in your life... then you'd best stay still and never move a muscle."

"Why was the church opposed to fire on torches? It was heat-on-a-stick."