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Joke of the Day

"did you hear about this new website which will have lots of info about penises they are planning to call it dickipedia"

"I would really love to see how Michaelangelo managed to paint that ceiling with his nunchucks."

"People who won Darwin Awards... ...jumped into the gene pool when the life guards weren't looking"

"""Where's my money?"" - a loan shark ""Where are my friends? - alone shark"

"To the guy who just followed me with ""Conservative, God-loving, pro-life"" in his bio... are you sure you want to do this?"

"What sound does a bloated dead horse make when you beat it? If you're still waiting for a punchline, why are you here?"

"Just saw a homeless guy yelling at his shadow. You know what that means right? SIX MORE WEEKS OF RECESSION!"

"Using the little box on my MacBook charge cord to keep my feet warm, just like my ancestors did"

"I went to a Mechanic when my car started making these awful noises but it just turned out to be Nickelback playing on the radio."

"My face is so oily The US wants to invade it."