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Joke of the Day

"what do you call it if you spend all of your money on pokeballs and lure modules on Pokemon go? Brokemon (shit jokemon)"

"What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland? Old bae."

"Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus."

"What is cold, grey, and ugly? Me after I take all the Nyquil and die. Also, Janet Reno."

"Don't bother using those white packets of seasoning inside new shoes, they taste terrible."

"Fat, single and ready for a pringle!"

"People are always mistaking things I say as racist. The other day, this guy thought I called him a 'sand nigger.' But what I said was, 'get out of the sand, nigger. Volleyball is a white man's sport.'"

"My dad was a magician... He could be walking down the street and turn into a bar."

"I like my women like I like my coffee...... Ground up and in the freezer"

"A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action and opened another register"