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Joke of the Day

"What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield? It didn't matter, they were all ears"

"I started up a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof!"

"Do you know what happened in the bathroom? Me either, but I heard a lot of shit going down."

"What did the male telescope say to the hot female telescope? HUBBLE HUBBLE!"

"My friend seemed pretty offended when I implied that he might have stolen one if my Harry Potter trading cards. I think he took ""Umbridge""."

"blacksmith joke A blacksmith asked his apprentice, ""Have you ever shoed a horse?"" He replied: ""No, but i once told a donkey to fuck off"""

"Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn. (Stolen from laffy taffy)"

"What language do fast talkers from Moscow speak? *Rush*ian!"

"Why'd the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila."

"What is colder than the dwarf planet Pluto? Legal judgements against fathers"