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Joke of the Day

"A cabbage and a carrot get into a race, who wins? The cabbage, it's a head"

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"I don't use Miracle Whip, I use Coincidental Circumstances Easily Explained by Reason Whip."
"Don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other."
"Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I'd have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again."
"Looks like the concierge is hitting on my wife again but who cares, this cherry danish I'm eating right now is on point nom nom nom!"
"Her: Dude, back off. You're totally scaring away all the hot guys checking me out at the gym. Me: You do realize I'm your boyfriend right?"
"Want to hear a funny presidential joke? Donald Trump."
"What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke? Bawdy wash."
"Never trust a Parasol... I hear they can be shady."
"Why did the dog eat the salad? For ruffage."