190180

Joke of the Day

"i just sighed so hard that i blew out a candle that was 2 feet away from me. tragic."

"As an American of Chinese decent, I offered my services to help Trump to build his wall. He replied that he didn't think it would be a good idea for me to build the barrier in my own internment camp."

"ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!"

"Jealous and Funn It's not important to win it's important to make the other Guy loose."

"Salamanders are the most passive aggressive animal. You grab their tail and they're like ""have that one, I don't even want it"""

"What's Mario's favorite pants? Denim Denim Denim"

"What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..? 1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge"

"I went to the zoo today, and the only animal it had was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu."

"What did the computer say to the pirate? Want to date hot Russians!"

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back"