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Joke of the Day

"If I was a funeral director, I'd tell everyone ""I'll see you later"" & then wink, because it's fun to freak people out."

"You call me a whore? All I have to say is that my legs are as open as Walmart at midnight"

"He's a recovering alcoholic: recovering from last night!"

"How do you get a French girl pregnant? Cum in her shoe and let the flies do the rest."

"Sorry I commented ""yikes"" on that pic of your baby you posted on facebook."

"My neighbor poked my eyeball out so I asked for an iPhone 7 as a compensation An i for an eye as they say"

"So I walked into the pharmacy the other day... because I needed to grab some condoms. As I was checking out, the clerk asked, ""do you need a bag for that?"" I replied, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead. The sugar bowls empty and so is your head."

"I got invited to a block party recently. I show up, blocks EVERYWHERE."