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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead. The sugar bowls empty and so is your head."

"I got drunk and woke up in the gutter. This is my sewer side note."

"What pets think about their owners? A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God."

"A riddle: it's yellow and if you push the button it turns red... A chick in a blender."

"If you don't wake up, eat & then go back to sleep, you're doing Sunday wrong."

"What do mice do when they're at home ? Mousework !"

"[Job interview] ""You list communication as a strength"" Yes ""Care to elaborate?"" No"

"bury me in a dog park so i can be some dogs treasure"

"Have you ever smelled mothballs? How did you get your head in between those teeny legs?"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."