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Joke of the Day

"Don't necessarily nominate me for sainthood, but I just gave a VERY ugly woman directions."

"Why does Karl Marx hate earl grey? Because all proper tea is theft."

"The only time honesty isn't the best policy is when speaking to an Apple employee at the Genius Bar."

"It's called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

"Never trust a screw... ... They might turn on you!"

"There is a Mexican, a black person, a muslim, and a gipsy in a car. Who drives it? The officer."

"Did you hear about the Indian man who was recently employed as a comedian? He got a punjabi."

"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout."

"What is the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere."

"me: ""we commemorate the day you died every year"" jesus: ""thats nice, what's the day called?"" me: jesus: me: jesus: ""keith?"" me: ""bad friday"""