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Joke of the Day

"What did the Irishman text his Wife? ""Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."""

"What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome? If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off."

"What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants ? On television !"

"What did Uranium-238 say to Helium when they first met? IDK"

"[coming home from cinema] Don't let that ninja film go to your head again. *roundhouse kicks the light switch on* ""I won't"""

"Even the name ""OK Cupid"" sounds like you're telling love to, like, settle down."

"Remember your elementary gym ""coach""? I should've worked out more for his girlfriend"

"What do you call someone who spends all day masturbating in the restroom? Pissing away your future."

"Did you ever hear the story about how the moose died? It's all a big moostery"

"What's the pink panther's to do list? *To do *To do *To do to do to do to do to doooooo"