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Joke of the Day

"I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them."

"It's been legalized! Seattle and Denver will be sharing a Super Bowl!"

"yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck."

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid good money to have a lentil on my chest"

"Tonight is bad for me. Could everyone arrange to Wang Chung maybe some time early tomorrow afternoon?"

"Men are a lot like shopping carts, when you finally find one without a screwed up wheel, it already has a Women pushing it around."

"How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog? Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you."

"TIFU I'm like a 4/10 and she was a total 9."

"I once knew a girl who confused a tube of KY jelly... for a tube of super glue. I asked her how it happened... her lips were sealed."

"I play soccer... Just for kicks"