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Joke of the Day

"How many animals are in a pair of pantyhose? Well there is 10 little piggies, 2 calves, an ass, a pussy and a dead fish, no one can find."

"Hillary said she wants to be the next president because there haven't been many women in the Oval Office. Bill said, ""That's not true, there's been plenty of women."""

"Everybody says Australians are rednecks learn already... **...it's actually from latin word Australis which means Southern...** *Oops*"

"There are 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree murders, but why are there no 90th degree murders? Because murder is not right"

"A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs. The Customs official says ""Have you got anything to declare?"" He thinks a second and he says ""It's a nice-a day!"""

"Damn you, Autocorrect ! Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense ? You are the banner of my existence."

"Dragon. Knock Knock? Who's there? Dragon. Dragon who? I was dragon my balls across your mom's face last night."

"Authorities in Beijing have advised that the Earthquake felt by millions last night was nothing to worry about. It was just the start of China's two-child policy."

"You know what they say about men that live in glass houses... They beat their wives in the basement."

"LAWYER: ur dad's estate ME: who called it executing a will instead of splittin heirs L: he said if u made a dumb joke u get nothing M: shit"