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Joke of the Day

"You aren't going to believe who is the most wonderful person ever... Read the first two words"

"What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books? ""I don't know what you're Tolkien about!"" Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb."

"i put tinder on my kindle it burst into flames"

"I had sex with a terrorist once. She said I was the best Jihad."

"The guy who invented Twister died this week. Fitting him into the coffin took 27 spins."

"After reading that Afghanistan had the highest infant mortality rate, this occurred to me. What do you call Afghan triplets? Twins! I am so sorry...."

"So I finally got a housekeeper, it's my ex-wife. She kept the house."

"Never tell a joke about a midget. They can come back to bite you on the ass"

"What's worse than a white guy walking into a church andshooting 9 black people? He let the others get away... I feel I'll be downvoted to hell for this..."

"i'm every guy who says he's taking a twitter break for mental health reasons and then returns 6 hours later"