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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that if you pull off a lizard's tail it'll grow back? And if you pull it off again the lizard will be like, ""Dude, c'mon..."""

"What does the Pope use to dry his hands? Papal towels."

"Whats brown and sounds like a bell? DUUUUUuU^nnnnnnnggggg^nnnnggg^nnnggg^nnnggg"

"This is just a temporary status...until I think of something better"

"Guys, don't let this headphones thing mislead you, women that aren't wearing them probably don't want to talk to you either"

"What crime did the man get charged with when he killed a black man? Impersonating a police officer."

"A Kiss can make my whole day... But anal could make my hole weak"

"What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict? One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines."

"Doctor Doctor my little brother thinks he's a computer. Well bring him in so I can cure him. I can't I need to use him to finish my homework."

"So this girl I was seeing asked me for a dick pic... So I asked ""White, black, asian or pacific islander?"""