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Joke of the Day

"Divorced couples have two chromosomes. Ex and why."

"I accidently put my USB through the washing machine It's still works, but it's really clean now. All the porn is gone."

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? DR.Dre"

"wife: [crying] ""he always calls me weird pet names"" therapist: ""what do you mean?"" me: [arriving late] ""what's wrong my little hovercraft?"""

"I was going to cover my bathroom floor with dead baby skin... My wife told be that would be infant tile."

"My friends 10 yo daughter made this up while in the elevator today: ""Did you know Darth Vader has another daughter?"" Mom: ""No, who?"" Daughter: ""Ella, Ella Vader."""

"*knock knock* ""Are you a Jehovah's Witness""?"

"If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days."

"Through a telescope, I see a woman on a planet light years away. She waves. I wave. I awkwardly realize she is waving to the guy behind me."

"Why is Trump's suits made from the same material as panties? What else do you cover a cunt with?"