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Joke of the Day

"Through a telescope, I see a woman on a planet light years away. She waves. I wave. I awkwardly realize she is waving to the guy behind me."

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"[High school reunion] Classmate: I've been out building schools in Africa Me: I got banned from the zoo for gluing sideburns onto a dolphin"
"I got a new thesaurus Its pretty bad, though. Not only that, it's also bad."
"I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he's had. He started counting and fell asleep."
"*Wildebeest film crew clatters into David Attenborough's bedroom* ATTENBOROUGH: What the- WILDEBEEST DIRECTOR: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT DAVID"
"Racial Humor NSFW As a white man, I may not get to say the N word, but at least I can say other phrases, like ""Thanks for the warning officer!"" Or ""Hey dad!"""
"I'm gonna screw you blue Said the rapist to Inigo Jones"
"ME: haha u dare me to take off all my clothes and run thru this park COP: no ME: wow I cant believe ur making me do this lol COP: I'm not"
"What do you call a man who rides his camel backwards? Lawrence of Dublin."
"I only trust people that like big butts. ...they can not lie."