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Joke of the Day
"How does a woman take care of her asshole? She packs him a lunch and sends him to work."
Next Joke
"Two fish are sitting in a tank One says to the other one, "" do you know how to drive this thing?"""
"I might invent a new beer, call it ""Occasionally"". When people ask if I drink, I can say I drink Occasionally' this way they won't think i'm an alcoholic."
"[in Batmobile] Superman: Hey Batman: Sup? S: Promise you won't be mad? B: [sighs] I asked if you had to go before we left the Batcave!!"
"What's a masturbator's favorite type of weather? Jack-it weather!"
"That Russian meteor footage is a nice reminder that we're flying through the universe in an organic spaceship with no roof."
"No thank you GPS.I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger's seat who knows everything"
"Have you heard about the dyslexic satanist? Sold his soul to Santa."
"Words: For when an emoticon just isn't enough."
"""Here, let me fuck it up for you."" - Every kid ever"