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Joke of the Day

"I might invent a new beer, call it ""Occasionally"". When people ask if I drink, I can say I drink Occasionally' this way they won't think i'm an alcoholic."

"A guy wakes up in hospital after surgery and complains he can't feel his legs ""I know"" said the doctor. ""We had to amputate your arms"""

"What did the Mod say to OP? [deleted]"

"What does a time traveler do when he's hungry? He goes back 4 seconds."

"The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it."

"Why do fencers make terrible Redditors? They always riposte."

"Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory? All he did was take a day off."

"Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully."

"I got addicted to eating deli meat right out of the refrigerator... But I decided to quit cold turkey."

"Why was the tallest man in the world troubled? Because he had no one to look up to."