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Joke of the Day

"God: Basically u just chill. Cow: Nice. God: I mean, at first. Cow: ...then? God: Then people murder u to eat ur insides & wear u as a coat."

"If I were Jesus, I'd change all the water on waterslides to wine because how awesome would winoslides be?"

"Just gave this idiot a thumbs up for cutting me off, and I think I might not understand road rage."

"Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach? Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan."

"Shoving a hose up someones butt. What a douche move!"

"Warning: Dad Joke But it's a classic. Grasshopper walks into a bar and sits. Bartender says, ""Hey, we got a drink named after you."". Grasshopper says, ""Wow. You got a drink named Kevin?""."

"Why did the apple eat itself with a fork? Because it didn't have a spoon! (Courtesy of my three year old daughter.)"

"What do you call two men from Paraguay? Par a guays! "

"What did the cannibal who was late to the dinner party get? The left-ovaries."

"You should never accept gift from a German The German/English bilingual crowd should be the safest ;)"