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Joke of the Day

"Why did the teacher have trouble controlling her pupils? She was cross eyed."

"Me: Goodnight moon Moon: night. Me: What? Moon: nothing. It's fine. Me: You're acting distant Moon: I'm 238,900 miles away"

"A Buddhist goes to the hot dog vendor... And says, ""Make me one with everything."" Giving him a fifty, the Buddhist asks for the change and the vendor replies, ""Change comes from within."""

"I lost my job at the orange juice factory They said I couldn't concentrate"

"Ever have sex while camping? It's fucking in tents!"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean? I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest."

"What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? I didn't do it on porpoise."

"How did the sailor deal with the death of his friend? He sent out a message in remorse code."

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? Both had Kurds in their way."

"I just rolled my eyes so hard, I can see my brain."