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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the man whose first girlfriend was a dwarf? He's still nuts over her."
Next Joke
"Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those ""evolutionary things"" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink."
"What's worse than getting dumped by your girlriend? Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking."
"Special shout out to the CIA, who were pouring cold water on people BEFORE the ""ice bucket challenge"" made it cool"
"My doctor put me on a strict vegan diet, but every Monday I'm allowed a cheat day So I nip out and fuck his wife."
"Best pick up line. Hey is your name Sandy Hook? Cuz I wanna shoot a bunch of kids inside you."
"I told wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back. Apparently you shouldn't say that to a woman with alopecia."
"Why should I excuse your dear aunt Sally? Her operations were not unprecedented."
"*sees commercial* ""Talk to your kids about drugs before its too late"" ""Kiddo. Kitchen. Now"" - Yeah? ""This is oregano. Don't get ripped off"""
"Just got invited to an ""alcohol-free"" wedding. The happy couple will be sad when they realize it's going to be a ""present-free"" wedding too."