188189

Joke of the Day

"How do you stop a deaf women from telling anyone you raped her How"

"What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing? Better get this right, I only have 2 worms."

"They are making gluten free communion wafers now. I guess you eat them because they represent the beach-body of Christ."

"Social services would take the kids away if they saw my house right now. Does anyone have their phone number?"

"My kid was saying they wanted an Omnitrix that let him change into pokemon So am like...you want to be a ditto?"

"I like my women like I like my cigarettes, slowly killing me in packs of 20 or more"

"Punctuation is really important: it's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse, and helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse."

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of intoxicants."

"I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night. He told me to f*ck off and buy my own."

"People who mispronounce Grand Prix... ...are just grand pricks."