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Joke of the Day

"I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas."

"How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge? He had seen a sign saying 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'"

"What is an Italian's favorite type of breakfast? *Serie-a*l"

"My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!"

"What did Japan say when it heard the US had an atomic bomb? Did you make that Fermi?"

"Why did the liberal go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!"

"Why are assholes always more successful than you? Because they make shit happen."

"Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with ""obstruction of justice."" This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time."

"Fatherhood Tip : If there's puke in your coat pocket and poop on your shoulder, you're holding the baby upside down."

"I'm filming a documentary on the serious subject of circumcision. It's called Robbin' Hood."