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Joke of the Day
"They always punch up the fuckline. Why can't dyslexics tell jokes?"
Next Joke
 
"I'll bet your parents hit the JERKpot!"
"Finding old food in your teeth is preferable to finding a pen in your fat rolls that's been there since you did a crossword three weeks ago."
"I'm allergic to chickpeas. Any time I eat them I falafel."
"Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest"
"How do you calm down a grammar Nazi? There they're their..."
"How many Jon Snows does it take to change a light bulb? It wouldn't matter. Jon Snow knows nothing."
"So a silver mine collapsed in Germany... So a silver mine collapsed in Germany, I guess you could say that's one mein fuhrer. I don't know if that exists or not, but as far as I know, I made that up."
"A guy walks out from home... I bet you were waiting for a small line of text. Here ya go."
"I'm handling Monday the same way I handle constipation. Gritting my teeth and wishing it pass already."