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Joke of the Day
"What's the favorite subject of young witches at school? Spelling."
Next Joke
"Why don't Jews like to give rim jobs? Because it's too close to the gas chamber. I'll show myself out"
"The cleaning people unplugged my radio and lost my settings, so I'm shooting fingernail clippings all over my office floor to punish them."
"When I'm sad I drive over to Keanu Reeve's house and watch him check the mailbox for scripts."
"What drinking game is Hillary Clinton best at? Flip Cup (coin)"
"What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness? ""You herd me!"""
"CAT: mew ME: indeed, u are correct kitty CAT: mew ME: well said, kitty, well said FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok...? Emotionally?"
"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a **great** year."
"Two bacteria walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""Get out! We don't serve any bacteria in this bar. The two bacteria say, ""Hey, but we work here. We're staph."""
"elephants are scared of mice they're like 100x their size, stupid massive wimps [a wasp flies in my car and i completely drive off a bridge]"