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Joke of the Day

"Some kid was being annoying so I hit him on the face with a baseball bat. He started crying and I didn't even bat an eye."

"did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans."

"What should you do if a monster runs through your front door? Run through the back door."

"What is a Viking's favorite music? Ragnarock"

"Wait, there's a big difference. Did you say I look like THE Rock or did you say I look like A rock?"

"I once photographed a high school track team practice for the yearbook.. I guess you could call it *timed laps* photography."

"You know what I find odd? Numbers that aren't divisible by 2."

"My friend asked his fiance to marry him with a song. The proposal had a nice ring to it."

"good morning class *farts* today we'll *farts* be learning *farts* abou *farts* oh god *farts* call an ambula *farts* it hurts so much *fa"

"Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries."