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Joke of the Day
"I really should learn to say ""congratulations"" instead of ""are you keeping it?"""
Next Joke
"Whats the German version of silent night? Kristall nacht"
"If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say ""Friend, you're wearing sweatpants."" They might not know."
"WHISKERS: There's nothing there. Go ahead. BLIND PERSON: *Steps off cliff* WHISKERS: Technically ^-- why we don't have seeing-eye cats"
"I look like Danny DeVito's sloppy seconds."
"In my opinion, One by Metallica... Is a 10/10."
"You can't spell anal rash without Sarah Palin."
"I was watching the men's hockey at the commonwealth games today, I was thinking it must be a very dangerous game to play, I mean half the Indian team were running around with bandages on their heads"
"Yo mama is so stank... She has to put ice between her legs to keep the crabs fresh."
"Why was the haunted mansion self conscious? Because it got a lot of creepy stairs. FML."