37948
Joke of the Day
"I really should learn to say ""congratulations"" instead of ""are you keeping it?"""
Next Joke
"Listening to dubstep. Wait nope just my cat tumbling in the dryer."
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool."
"I put winks at the end of texts to add a confusing air of creepy. ""Making breakfast. ;)"" ""Walking the dog. ;)"" ""Broke in to your house ;)"""
"""I could eat."" - How I answer most questions, even if they're not food-related."
"People say Steve Jobs died too soon I think it was a fitting metaphor for Apple's attitude to battery life. -Frankie Boyle"
"A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer..... ........ than the men who mention it."
"2 yr old just made me wish I was 2 again: ""I had a dream I was walking down the street and didn't have to hold anyone's hand"""
"What do you call a women with one leg? Aileen Unless she's Asian, then you call her Irene."
"What do you call an emotionless Asian woman? A rice queen!"