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Joke of the Day

"I had an idea for a suit made entirely of banana skins... but no one seemed to find it very appealing."

"If God doesn't want us to masturbate... then why does he always make one sock disappear in the dryer?"

"I'm a die hard Bruce Willis fan."

"Do these jeans make me look fat? wife : Do these jeans make me look fat? Me totally scared: Would you get mad if i tell you the truth? Wife : No, i won't! Tell me. Me : I slept with your sister"

"My uncle Paul does great bird impressions, He eats worms."

"I drew my gun. The guy in front of me drew his gun. Then I drew my other gun, and soon we were surrounded by some lovely drawings of guns."

"Pro Tip: You can slap anybody, as hard as you want, as long as you yell ""spider"" first. They may even thank you."

"A baby crawls into a bar... He asks the bartender for a milk. The bartender says, ""I guess you want that in a bottle?"". The baby replies, ""What do you have on tit?"""

"Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips."

"Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!"