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Joke of the Day

"What did the first cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Does this taste funny to you?"

"I like my women like I like my weather. 60 and dry."

"It's just an alarm clock Really, it is. http://imgur.com/tdZrIAB"

"Why is America home to the majority of comedians? Lax pun control laws."

"What's a russian's favorite golf club? A putin wedge."

"Liar is such a harsh term, I prefer Politician"

"Did you hear about the guy from Parks & Rec who crashed his plane? It was comic Aziz."

"All women say they just want to meet someone with a sense of humor - From what I can tell, Rich guys are fucking hilarious-"

"""And the award for Most British Name goes to..."" *Benedict Cumberbatch takes a sip of gin with his eyes closed* ""Helena Bonha-"" *spews*"

"My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy! Now I have to sit down when I pee."