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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my weather. 60 and dry."

"I queued up for ages to get cod earlier... ...but they sold out, so I got a battered sausage instead."

"I had sex with a campfire. It was hot."

"Please leave a message after the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II soundtrack."

"I'm worried about the calendar... Its days are numbered"

"Heard they are making the Tetris movie into a trilogy... They must think its going to be a real blockbuster."

"I giveth, and I taketh away. Why? Because I recycleth."

"What do you call a three humped camel? Pregnant. (Credit goes to the trailer of Zootopia)"

"Damn, girl are you a sketch on Saturday Night Live? Cause you're getting old, fast!"

"What's the best thing about Switzerland? I'm not sure... but the flag's a big plus."