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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy! Now I have to sit down when I pee."

"Does your wife have dry lips? Because I saw her putting some chap's dick on her lips"

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies ""My alcoholism is tearing my family apart"""

"I overheard a super skinny girl say that she sometimes forgets to eat. So naturally I licked her face to see if it was contagious"

"Why did the Middle Eastern man not want his daughter to go on a date with a boy from school? He was afraid she would come home stoned."

"Hey Kevin, why do you like fungi on your pizza? Cause I'm a vegetarian."

"A cannibal went for a walk... ...and he passed his brother"

"Weddings r cool bc u can cry in public about other stuff as long as u look in the general direction of the bride + groom"

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong socks on this morning."

"Why does duck taste better than turkey? Because turkey is just poultry in comparison."