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Joke of the Day

"Optimus Prime: AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT. Me: *walks downstairs* where the hell is my toaster and microwave?"

"The most unrealistic thing about The Walking Dead is that a couple who had a kid after 2000 would've named it Carl."

"Did you hear the one about the deaf man? Neither did he."

"Jon Snow ask a wildlings how to have.. sex. she said , you know nothing jon snow."

"What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US Leader"

"Did you know Helen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she."

"Two pretzels were walking down the street... ...One was a salted."

"Haters gonna hate... Masters gonna bate."

"Have you ever seen one of those billboards that just says ""AVAILABLE"" and a phone number? That's your mom's number."

"Actor Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber last night during an argument at a night club in Spain. Orlando's hand was pretty sore today, you know, from all the high-fives he got."