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Joke of the Day

"I had a bukkake party last night. You should have come"

"I ordered a book called ""How to relieve stress"" My goodness, for the life of me I really hope that it arrives on time. And that it's useful. And that the delivery man doesn't dislike me."

"What's big, yellow, and can't swim? A school bus full of children."

"What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck? I'm not sure, but I know ***IT LIKES TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT***"

"Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster."

"The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute."

"""Iraqi Suicide Bomb Instructor Accidentally Kills 22 Pupils."" Finally, some school violence everybody can support."

"I'm glad I found out it's illegal to destroy US currency. I was about to feed $50 bills through a shredder."

"What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty"

"50 Shades of Letting People on the Train Know You're Not Getting Laid"