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Joke of the Day

"My wife calls it ""woman's intuition"" but I call it ""not clearing your browser history."""

"Aoccdrnig to Ylae rseaerch, it deosn't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is how mcuh mnoey you hvae"

"The Asian Grading Scale is... A++ (100.01%+)=Average FA+ (0-100%)=Find new famaree who can accept your white peoples grade."

"GF taking me on a surprise V-Day getaway. At least I think. Not sure what the lime and shovel in the trunk with me are for though."

"Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards? A: A new age song."

"My wife is a psycho, this tweet isn't a joke its a cry for help."

"Why don't Canadians have many orgies? Too many thank-you notes."

"Why was 9 mad at 0 after winning a game of bingo? Because 0 1 2"

"Just ordered Chinese food from a place called Magic Wok. In the 'additional notes' I said ""pls make the sadness disappear."" LAUGH OUT LOUD"

"Where does Kylie buy her kebabs? From Jason's Doner Van. (Sorry, I'm guessing this one's only for the Aussies and Brits)"