37426

Joke of the Day

"To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one."

"A man walks into a zoo The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shih Tzu."

"How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce? (x-post from askreddit) Worsheshershershosh."

"What's black and doesn't work? Half of London"

"When I die, just throw the laundry in my grave with me. I want to die exactly as I lived."

"In which state does the Mississippi river flow? Liquid."

"Bird flu epidemic or pun?"

"""Roses are grey, violets are grey, cars are grey, red is grey, all this shit is just grey""-guy failing a color blind test."

"How do you raise a baby elephant ? With a fork lift truck !"

"What do the Irish hate more than potatoes? No potatoes."