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Joke of the Day

"Why did Bill Clinton say NO to testosterone meds? He was afraid of ending up like Hillary."

"""Hello from the outsiiiiide. I must have called a thousand tiiiiimes"" - me, drunk, leaving my wife another voicemail because I'm locked out"

"What lies on its back 100 feet in the air? A centipede"

"I'm making a party for people who can't ejaculate... Let me know if you are coming or not."

"Americans lost their racism just in time... ...for this beautiful colored christmas!"

"""You da bomb"" was one of the best things to hear someone tell me when I was younger. But the possibility of hearing it now has me scared to death here in ISIS."

"I'm no gynecologist... But I can take a look."

"What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South? Nothin. You're gonna lose a trailer either way. -Robin Williams"

"I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. It's a whisk I was willing to take."

"A paraplegic high school senior can graduate... ...but can't walk with their class."