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Joke of the Day

"Two bloody tampons pass you in the street. Which one says hello first? Neither, they're both stuck up cunts."

"Jared's favorite dressing on his Subway sandwich is Neverland Ranch. I'm sorry."

"What do you feed a disappearing cat? Evaporated milk"

"Why did the Mexican food go to counseling? He wanted to taco bout his problems"

"Macs ranked best to worst - Fleetwood - book pros - n cheese - klemore"

"I went to a large bookstore ... ... and asked the lady at the counter, where the self-help section was. She said if she would tell me, it would defeat the very purpose of it."

"Sometimes when I'm alone in my room I squat down, grab hold of my ankles and lean forward. Coz that's how I roll."

"My wife reckons that recently I have become an awkward, arrogant cunt, and she just can't understand me. Seems like my French classes are going really well."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Allah Allah who? ALLAHU AKBAR!!!"

"I once bought a hamster And told it to shank my sister. When it didn't, I shanked her myself, with my dick."