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Joke of the Day

"Scientists say you're more likely to die of what your grandparents died of rather than your parents If anyone sees any German snipers let me know"

"A poll was taken by 2,000 prostitutes asking if they would have sex with Ted Cruz. 91% said Never Again""."

"What do you call a pothead that murders? Stonedface killer."

"Someone hugged me at the office Christmas party and now they know my safe word."

"I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from. Then it dawned on me."

"What do you call a bunch of Indians running down a hill? A: A mudslide How do you make one? A: Roll a coin down a hill Who is the richest man in India? A: The guy who got the coin"

"A black man, a white guy, a muslim and a communist walk into a bar..... Bartender says ""what can i get you mr. president?"""

"Snapchat is going public in March with a $30 billion IPO. Investors only hope the value of stock shares holds up longer than its snaps."

"What's the difference between a fox and a dog? About 7 beers."

"What kind of shoes do ninjas use? Sneakers."