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Joke of the Day

"If you stand for nothing you'll fall for anyone who offers you a chair because standing is fucking exhausting."

"I once swallowed two strings and they came out tied together. Yeah, I shit you knot!"

"What made Tesla successful ? Its musk"

"Lost: bucket of sand, silt, and gravel Great sedimental value. (I can't take credit. Read it in a university paper 20 years ago.)"

"I just got laid ... off."

"The difference between a prostitute with diarrhea and an epileptic oyster shucker... The oyster shucker shucks between fits!"

"A man goes to the hospital after shoving 6 toy horses in his ass... After a thorough inspection, the doctor stated his condition was stable."

"Knock knock. This may not be This may not be a funny joke."

"What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist? Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI"

"We need to make music cool again people. If you go home with someone and they have a Justin Bieber CD in their music collection, don't fcuk them."