37165

Joke of the Day

"What do Vietnamese historians and Southern rednecks have in common? They both care way too much about the uc Dynasty."

"My friend recently found out that he is both gay and dyslexic... He is still in Daniel..."

"I'd love to show a fountain to someone from the 3rd world: ""This is our water showing off contraption. We also throw our extra money in it"""

"Anxiety = waiting to see if the middle seat will stay unoccupied as people are boarding your flight."

"People always go, ""Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?"" We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why."

"The Philippines is the only country in the world who turns its flag upside down during times of war while French people remove the red and blue colour"

"scary Halloween costume idea: eye contact"

"I'm a heavy sleeper. Also, a heavy awaker. Okay, I'm fat."

"I had to go to the hospital without insurance. It wasn't so bad, though. They let me keep my watch and my shoe."

"I backed a horse at 10/1 yesterday... It came in at quarter past 4."