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Joke of the Day

"With all the talk of gender lately I realized the fastest way to turn a pussy into a dick Give it a gun and a badge"

"Why did hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill. It was over nein thousand."

"[high] ME: dude, NASA faked the moon landing FRIEND: wait, u mean- ME: yep, the moon never landed at all, it's still out there somewhere"

"What did the basic girl say after all her writing utensils broke? I literally cant even write now"

"I don't understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens? If I am trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens."

"Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos? Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!"

"Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?"

"So, a byslexic guy walks into a dar..."

"How do you know someone went to Harvard? They tell you."

"What did George Washington say to his men on March 3rd Tomorrow we march forth"