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Joke of the Day

"I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face."

"You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend."

"[OC] I've got a broken yo-yo for sale. Anyone want to buy it? No strings attached"

"I was two woman away from having a threesome last night"

"I just got fired for looking up clown videos on my lunch break. My boss didn't buy that ""Lisa Ann gets creampied"" is a clown video"

"I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said NaBrO."

"- Hello, princess. Can I call you princess? - No. - OK then, Mr. Smith, let's just get started with your prostate exam."

"If I ever have two sons, I'll name one Penn and the other Sword, then make them wrestle a lot just to see if it's true."

"What do you call 5 black people having sex? A three-some."

"It's no wonder Q: Why did Stevie Wonder step in the turd? A: Because he can't see shit."