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Joke of the Day
"I too save a bunch of money on car insurance. By not having any."
Next Joke
"Argument with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement... . . . . . At the end, you ignore everything and click 'I agree'."
"I've tried every drug but crack. Who you callin' buttcrack, asshole?!?!"
"They say 1 is the loneliest number, but I bet 0 is even lonelier. Not only is he a single digit; he's fat."
"What do you call an Italian at the World Cup Finals? A referee"
"When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders... When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?"
"Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music? Mount Rushmore."
"What's the most American food? Popcorn, because you have to blow it up before you eat it."
"""Please don't do this."" - my voice mail greeting"
"You have 90,000 followers, follow 92,000, and all you tweet are @s thanking people for following back. Are you raising an army for Mordor?"