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Joke of the Day

"What did the train say on the way to auschwitz? Jew-Jew I'm sorry, that made me feel dirty. Should probably take a shower..."

"What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline? I'll tell you tomorrow"

"If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier."

"Did you hear about the dumb woman who had... Did you hear about the woman who had two chances to get Pregnant? She blew them both..."

"Sometimes I draw a penis on my face before I go out so people know I'm there to fucking party."

"Sorry, Australia... Overheard my sister talking to my friend when this was said. Sis: ""Do they have bush babies in Australia""? Friend: ""No, but they have plenty of dead babies in the bush""."

"I accidentally took an extra step when I reached the top of the stairs and now I'm in a marching band."

"Today I had a second helping of hummus. I was arrested for double hummus-ide."

"How often did the asian cow go to the gym? Dairy"

"There's no way Oscar Pistorius can walk away from this... He doesn't have a leg to stand on."