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Joke of the Day

"What did the train say on the way to auschwitz? Jew-Jew I'm sorry, that made me feel dirty. Should probably take a shower..."

"I'm a bad person... (NSFW) Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday."

"How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower? Give her a shovel."

"Why did the dinosaur go to jail? Because he was a child molester."

"My grandfather came back from the war... ...with a single arm. To this day, we still have no idea whose it is"

"I have pet snakes, turtles, and lizards. They are a family but I think they hate each other. I think I have A reptile disfunction."

"How does an elephant hide in the jungle? It paints its balls red and climbs up a cherry tree. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherries."

"[trying to stick a dollar in a vending machine] vending machine: i have a boyfriend"

"My wife said she has had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up... So I just packed my bags and right..."

"My work has this cute thing they do where if you're really good at your job, they get you to do everyone elses too."