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Joke of the Day

"I bought a cheese grater for my blind uncle. He said it was the most violent thing he ever read."

"So Amazon has a new drone delivery service... It's called ""UPS deliverymen."""

"How does a jew make coffee? Hebrews it"

"What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung."

"Boss: I'm following you on Twitter. Me: Sweet! 'Nother follower! [Days later] Me: Oh wait. Shit."

"Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee!"

"Why did the synagogue ban Monopoly? Because the fights over who got to be the banker were getting bloody"

"Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day."

"Why was Ohm the Empire's best scout? He discovered the resistance"

"To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one."