36881
Joke of the Day
"""Stomach...Lungs...Kidneys....Heart."" - Me, at my organ recital. (Not even slightly sorry)"
Next Joke
"Who wants gold? amuse me first...hahaha"
"I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk?...my apocolypse plans depend on it....thanks!"
"Jurisprudence fetishist gets off on appeal"
"BREAKING: Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field. The steaks have never been higher."
"My alarm clock isn't in a good mood... It just went off on me"
"Whoever said that all press is good press... clearly hasn't heard of Lostprophets."
"FLIGHT ATTENDANT: would you like me to throw that away for you? RACCOON: *clutching banana peel* this is my carry on thank you very much"
"What do you tell someone who constantly uses the word ""of"" instead of ""have""? Fuck of"
"What do hard-working grocery store clerks get every year? A celery increase."