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Joke of the Day

"Life Pro Tip: Putting your phone in airplane mode will stop ads while you play."

"GUY: Your logic is flawed. According to experts- ME: Excuse me, but I practiced this argument in my head & you're saying the wrong things"

"A group of protesters are in front of a physics lab ""What do we want?"" ""Time travel!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Irrelevant."""

"My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said ""If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"""

"My friend was worried about the results of his HIV test, so I told him to assume he was going to die. I don't see why he got angry at me though, I was just want him to be negative."

"*interrupts your baby's first words* ""IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."""

"The Online Biology Class I almost got expelled in an Online Biology crash course earlier. They asked me what the major constituent of cells are. Turns out, ""black people"" is NOT a good answer."

"What does a skeleton use to carry his bones? A CART-ilage"

"Why do all the elements get cranky once a month? Cause they are on their periodic table."

"How do you differentiate a basic bitch from a bad bitch? You pour phenolphthalein on her and watch it turn pink."