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Joke of the Day
"*interrupts your baby's first words* ""IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."""
Next Joke
"Man is like spider... ..bound to have sticky fingers after being on the web"
"Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone? Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for."
"Samsung should focus their marketing toward criminals They could completely monopolize the burner phone industry."
"A blind hooker tried to give me a BJ once she said I had the biggest penis ever. I said ""Ha, you're pulling my leg"""
"I'm going to the hospital tomorrow...not because I'm sick, but because they have free pudding if you're fast enough."
"One man. One dream. One crazy summer. Three wizards. Fourteen cobras. Ten thousand condoms. I dunno, I'm just listing things."
"If the people in your car don't match the stick figures on your rear window, I'll report your vehicle stolen."
"There are two things I hate in this world... People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch."
"My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded."